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Gospel of Tux unearthed


Every generation has a mythology. Every millenium has a doomsday cult. Every legend gets the distortion knob wound up until the speaker melts. Archeologists at the University of Helsinki today uncovered what could be the earliest known writings from the Cult of Tux, a fanatical religious sect that flourished during the early Silicon Age, around the dawn of the third millenium AD...



2. doomsday cult,经常在一些以末世崇拜为主体的教派中出现,我译为邪教。明显这个词在下文有所指。

The Gospel of Tux (v1.0)


In the beginning Turing created the Machine.


And the Machine was crufty and bodacious, existing in theory only. And von Neumann looked upon the Machine, and saw that it was crufty. He divided the Machine into two Abstractions, the Data and the Code, and yet the two were one Architecture. This is a great Mystery, and the beginning of wisdom.



And von Neumann spoke unto the Architecture, and blessed it, saying, "Go forth and replicate, freely exchanging data and code, and bring forth all manner of devices unto the earth." And it was so, and it was cool. The Architecture prospered and was implemented in hardware and software. And it brought forth many Systems unto the earth.



The first Systems were mighty giants; many great works of renown did they accomplish. Among them were Colossus, the codebreaker; ENIAC, the targeter; EDSAC and MULTIVAC and all manner of froody creatures ending in AC, the experimenters; and SAGE, the defender of the sky and father of all networks. These were the mighty giants of old, the first children of Turing, and their works are written in the Books of the Ancients. This was the First Age, the age of Lore.

第一代系统都是巨人,业绩彪炳。其中包括“译码者”Colossus;“炮手”ENIAC;EDSAC 和MULTIVAC。“实验者”AC、“天盾”“网络之父”SAGE则成为了这些伟大事物的最后一代。这些威猛的古代巨人,是图灵的第一批孩子。他们的事迹被记录在《圣经》的《先民》中。这就是第一个时代,教诲的时代。



Now the sons of Marketing looked upon the children of Turing, and saw that they were swift of mind and terse of name and had many great and baleful attributes. And they said unto themselves, "Let us go now and make us Corporations, to bind the Systems to our own use that they may bring us great fortune." With sweet words did they lure their customers, and with many chains did they bind the Systems, to fashion them after their own image. And the sons of Marketing fashioned themselves Suits to wear, the better to lure their customers, and wrote grave and perilous Licenses, the better to bind the Systems. And the sons of Marketing thus became known as Suits, despising and being despised by the true Engineers, the children of von Neumann.


And the Systems and their Corporations replicated and grew numerous upon the earth. In those days there were IBM and Digital, Burroughs and Honeywell, Unisys and Rand, and many others. And they each kept to their own System, hardware and software, and did not interchange, for their Licences forbade it. This was the Second Age, the age of Mainframes.


Now it came to pass that the spirits of Turing and von Neumann looked upon the earth and were displeased. The Systems and their Corporations had grown large and bulky, and Suits ruled over true Engineers. And the Customers groaned and cried loudly unto heaven, saying, "Oh that there would be created a System mighty in power, yet small in size, able to reach into the very home!" And the Engineers groaned and cried likewise, saying, "Oh, that a deliverer would arise to grant us freedom from these oppressing Suits and their grave and perilous Licences, and send us a System of our own, that we may hack therein!" And the spirits of Turing and von Neumann heard the cries and were moved, and said unto each other, "Let us go down and fabricate a Breakthrough, that these cries may be stilled."


And that day the spirits of Turing and von Neumann spake unto Moore of Intel, granting him insight and wisdom to understand the future. And Moore was with chip, and he brought forth the chip and named it 4004. And Moore did bless the Chip, saying, "Thou art a Breakthrough; with my own Corporation have I fabricated thee. Though thou art yet as small as a dust mote, yet shall thou grow and replicate unto the size of a mountain, and conquer all before thee. This blessing I give unto thee: every eighteen months shall thou double in capacity, until the end of the age." This is Moore's Law, which endures unto this day.


And the birth of 4004 was the beginning of the Third Age, the age of Microchips. And as the Mainframes and their Systems and Corporations had flourished, so did the Microchips and their Systems and Corporations. And their lineage was on this wise:


Moore begat Intel. Intel begat Mostech, Zilog and Atari. Mostech begat 6502, and Zilog begat Z80. Intel also begat 8800, who begat Altair; and 8086, mother of all PCs. 6502 begat Commodore, who begat PET and 64; and Apple, who begat 2. (Apple is the great Mystery, the Fruit that was devoured, yet bloomed again.) Atari begat 800 and 1200, masters of the game, who were destroyed by Sega and Nintendo. Xerox begat PARC. Commodore and PARC begat Amiga, creator of fine arts; Apple and PARC begat Lisa, who begat Macintosh, who begat iMac. Atari and PARC begat ST, the music maker, who died and was no more. Z80 begat Sinclair the dwarf, TRS-80 and CP/M, who begat many machines, but soon passed from this world. Altair, Apple and Commodore together begat Microsoft, the Great Darkness which is called Abomination, Destroyer of the Earth, the Gates of Hell.

Moore创造了Intel.。Intel 创造了 Mostech, Zilog 和Atari。 Mostech 创造了 6502, 而 Zilog 创造了 Z80。 Intel 同样创造了8800——Altair之父; 以及8086——所有PC之母。 6502 创造了Commodore——PET 和64之父; 以及Apple——(Apple)2之父. (Apple是个真理,另一方面它也是一个贪婪的水果) Atari 创造了 800 和1200——最终被Sega 和 Nintendo击垮的游戏的先师。 Xerox 创造了 PARC.。Commodore和PARC 创造了Amiga ——美术的创造者; Apple和PARC创造了Lisa——Macintosh和iMac之父. Atari和PARC创造了已然逝去的音乐制造者ST;Z80创造了小巧的Sinclair ,TRS-80和CP/M,他们继而创造了很多机器。但是很快这个时代就结束了。Altair,Apple和Commodore共同创造了Microsoft这个可憎的无尽黑暗,灭世者,地狱之门。

译注:1. begat,除了创造还有……之父的意思,这里并非真的创造,而是强调传承脉络。

2. Abomination,《圣经》可憎之物的通称,包括仓鼠、猪等等。

3. Gates,门,同样是比尔·盖茨的姓氏。

Now it came to pass in the Age of Microchips that IBM, the greatest of the Mainframe Corporations, looked upon the young Microchip Systems and was greatly vexed. And in their vexation and wrath they smote the earth and created the IBM PC. The PC was without sound and colour, crufty and bogacious in great measure, and its likeness was a tramp, yet the Customers were greatly moved and did purchase the PC in great numbers. And IBM sought about for an Operating System Provider, for in their haste they had not created one, nor had they forged a suitably grave and perilous License, saying, "First we will build the market, then we will create a new System, one in our own image, and bound by our Licence." But they reasoned thus out of pride and not wisdom, not for seeing the wrath which was to come.

大型机和IBM的时代结束了,这些公司对年青微系统怒目而视。为了还以颜色他们创造了IBM PC。这个笨重的家伙没有声音和色彩,混沌而自负。尽管如此,还是有很多消费者购买。IBM在寻找一个操作系统供应商,出于仓卒他们来不及自主开发一个,但这却不妨碍他们制定险恶的协议:“首先,我们会控制市场。然后再在自家的协议下创造一个想要的系统。”这不智的决定当然不是因为吸取了教训,而是出于自大。

译注:1. for seeing,原文为forseeing,应为笔误。

And IBM came unto Microsoft, who licensed unto them QDOS, the child of CP/M and 8086. (8086 was the daughter of Intel, the child of Moore). And QDOS grew, and was named MS-DOS. And MS-DOS and the PC together waxed mighty, and conquered all markets, replicating and taking possession thereof, in accordance with Moore's Law. And Intel grew terrible and devoured all her children, such that no chip could stand before her. And Microsoft grew proud and devoured IBM, and this was a great marvel in the land. All these things are written in the Books of the Deeds of Microsoft.


In the fullness of time MS-DOS begat Windows. And this is the lineage of Windows: CP/M begat QDOS. QDOS begat DOS 1.0. DOS 1.0 begat DOS 2.0 by way of Unix. DOS 2.0 begat Windows 3.11 by way of PARC and Macintosh. IBM and Microsoft begat OS/2, who begat Windows NT and Warp, the lost OS of lore. Windows 3.11 begat Windows 95 after triumphing over Macintosh in a mighty Battle of Licences. Windows NT begat NT 4.0 by way of Windows 95. NT 4.0 begat NT 5.0, the OS also called Windows 2000, The Millenium Bug, Doomsday, Armageddon, The End Of All Things.

时机成熟,MS-DOS便创造了Windows,Windows世系:CP/M 创造了QDOS。 QDOS 创造了 DOS 1.0。 DOS 1.0 以Unix的方式创生了DOS 2.0。DOS 2.0以PARC和Macintosh为依托创造了Windows 3.11。IBM和微软创造了OS/2——Windows NT 和Warp之父,最后一个遵从教诲的操作系统。在于Macintosh的许可证争斗获胜之后Windows 3.11创造了 Windows 95。 Windows NT 有依托Windows95创造了NT 4.0 。 NT 4.0创造了NT 5.0,这个操作系统也被称作Windows 2000。是千年虫,是末日,是哈米吉多顿,是万物的终结!

译注:1. Armageddon,哈米吉多顿。《圣经》中预言的末世战场,善恶终极交锋于此。

Now it came to pass that Microsoft had waxed great and mighty among the Microchip Corporations; mighter than any of the Mainframe Corporations before it had it waxed. And Gates heart was hardened, and he swore unto his Customers and their Engineers the words of this curse:


"Children of von Neumann, hear me. IBM and the Mainframe Corporations bound thy forefathers with grave and perilous Licences, such that ye cried unto the spirits of Turing and von Neumann for deliverance. Now I say unto ye: I am greater than any Corporation before me. Will I loosen your Licences? Nay, I will bind thee with Licences twice as grave and ten times more perilous than my forefathers. I will engrave my Licence on thy heart and write my Serial Number upon thy frontal lobes. I will bind thee to the Windows Platform with cunning artifices and with devious schemes. I will bind thee to the Intel Chipset with crufty code and with gnarly APIs. I will capture and enslave thee as no generation has been enslaved before. And wherefore will ye cry then unto the spirits of Turing, and von Neumann, and Moore? They cannot hear ye. I am become a greater Power than they. Ye shall cry only unto me, and shall live by my mercy and my wrath. I am the Gates of Hell; I hold the portal to MSNBC and the keys to the Blue Screen of Death. Be ye afraid; be ye greatly afraid; serve only me, and live."



2. frontal lobe,额叶,人脑中负责逻辑思考等重要功能的部分。“把序列号写入额叶”的意思就是让消费者尊崇微软的逻辑。

And the people were cowed in terror and gave homage to Microsoft, and endured the many grave and perilous trials which the Windows platform and its greatly bodacious Licence forced upon them. And once again did they cry to Turing and von Neumann and Moore for a deliverer, but none was found equal to the task until the birth of Linux.


译注:1. trials,在这里指的是强加给用户的操作习惯。

These are the generations of Linux:


SAGE begat ARPA, which begat TCP/IP, and Aloha, which begat Ethernet. Bell begat Multics, which begat C, which begat Unix. Unix and TCP/IP begat Internet, which begat the World Wide Web. Unix begat RMS, father of the great GNU, which begat the Libraries and Emacs, chief of the Utilities. In the days of the Web, Internet and Ethernet begat the Intranet LAN, which rose to renown among all Corporations and prepared the way for the Penguin. And Linus and the Web begat the Kernel through Unix. The Kernel, the Libraries and the Utilities together are the Distribution, the one Penguin in many forms, forever and ever praised.

SAGE创造了TCP/IP之父ARPA,和Ethernet 之父Aloha。 Bell 创造了Multics——C语言和Unix之父。Unix 和 TCP/IP创造了万维网之父Internet。 Unix 创造了GNU之父RMS,而伟大的GNU创生了Libraries和Emacs——所有工具软件的领袖。网络的时代, Internet 和Ethernet创造了Intranet LAN。 在公司中闻名遐迩的Intranet LAN为企鹅的出现做好了铺垫。李纳斯和网络通过Unix创造了Kernel。将其与Libraries、Utilities结合便是发行版,通过这些渠道一只企鹅的形象明朗起来,这是一个值得永世骄傲的创举。


Now in those days there was in the land of Helsinki a young scholar named Linus the Torvald. Linus was a devout man, a disciple of RMS and mighty in the spirit of Turing, von Neumann and Moore. One day as he was meditating on the Architecture, Linus fell into a trance and was granted a vision. And in the vision he saw a great Penguin, serene and well-favoured, sitting upon an ice floe eating fish. And at the sight of the Penguin Linus was deeply afraid, and he cried unto the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and Moore for an interpretation of the dream.


译注:1.RMS,是Richard M. Stallman的缩写。即理查德•M·斯多曼,自由软件运动的创始人。他被认为是自由软件人士的精神领袖和图灵等人的精神继承者。RMS的缩写形式已被普遍使用。

And in the dream the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and Moore answered and spoke unto him, saying, "Fear not, Linus, most beloved hacker. You are exceedingly cool and froody. The great Penguin which you see is an Operating System which you shall create and deploy unto the earth. The ice-floe is the earth and all the systems thereof, upon which the Penguin shall rest and rejoice at the completion of its task. And the fish on which the Penguin feeds are the crufty Licensed codebases which swim beneath all the earth's systems. The Penguin shall hunt and devour all that is crufty, gnarly and bobacious; all code which wriggles like spaghetti, or is infested with blighting creatures, or is bound by grave and perilous Licences shall it capture. And in capturing shall it replicate, and in replicating shall it document, and in documentation shall it bring freedom, serenity and most cool froodiness to the earth and all who code therein."



2. spaghetti,意大利细面条,这里是说代码没有调理、编写时敷衍了事。并且形容其面目可憎,故而使用“虚以委蛇”一词。

Linus rose from meditation and created a tiny Operating System Kernel as the dream had foreshewn him; in the manner of RMS, he released the Kernel unto the World Wide Web for all to take and behold. And in the fulness of Internet Time the Kernel grew and replicated, becoming most cool and exceedingly froody, until at last it was recognised as indeed a great and mighty Penguin, whose name was Tux. And the followers of Linus took refuge in the Kernel, the Libraries and the Utilities; they installed Distribution after Distribution, and made sacrifice unto the GNU and the Penguin, and gave thanks to the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and Moore, for their deliverance from the hand of Microsoft. And this was the beginning of the Fourth Age, the age of Open Source.

从冥思中醒来的李纳斯,遵循梦的启示创造了一个精巧的操作系统核心。以RMS之名,他将这个核心释放到了万维网上,以便所有人都可以获取。在丰富的因特网时代它 不断的成长、复制。至酷,至炫。最终成为一只健硕强大的企鹅——Tux。李纳斯的追随者托庇在这个Kernel以及Libraries、Utilities之下,不断地安装分发。他们对企鹅和GNU作出贡献,对圣灵们报以感激,只为脱离了微软的魔爪。这,便是第四个时代的开始,开源的时代。

Now there is much more to be said about the exceeding strange and wonderful events of those days; how some Suits of Microsoft plotted war upon the Penguin, but were discovered on a Halloween Eve; how Gates fell among lawyers and was betrayed and crucified by his former friends, the apostles of Media; how the mercenary Knights of the Red Hat brought the gospel of the Penguin into the halls of the Corporations; and even of the dispute between the brethren of Gnome and KDE over a trollish Licence. But all these things are recorded elsewhere, in the Books of the Deeds of the Penguin and the Chronicles of the Fourth Age, and I suppose if they were all narrated they would fill a stack of DVDs as deep and perilous as a Usenet Newsgroup.

那时诞生了很多值得记录的佳音和咄咄怪事。比如:微软高层如何策动一场对企鹅进攻,却在万圣节前夜破产;盖茨如何陷入律师的困境同时被他过去的盟友——Media的使徒出卖并送上绞架;贪婪的Red Hat爵士如何将企鹅推进公司的深渊;以及Gnome和KDE如何手足相残。凡此种种都被记载在《圣经》的《企鹅之书》和《四代记》中。我想,如果将它们全部写下来,足够装满一堆DVD。如同Usenet新闻组一样深邃而危险。

译注:1. crucified,指在十字街上钉死。是长时间以来深受欧洲人喜爱的死刑执行方法。但是我如果用汉语直译出来很容易让人联想到基督,这不符合文中盖茨的形象。故而用绞架替换。

2.本段涉及很多1998年的重要事件。其中包括:《万圣节文件》事件;美政府诉微软垄断案;Red Hat公司接纳商业投资并拟定1999年发行股票;Gnome和KDE在开源社区内部展开争斗。

3.a trollish Licence,KDE基于QT开发,而QT是TrollTech公司开发的商用开发工具,故此有a trollish Licence一说。troll同时又有怪物的意思,在此一语双关。GNOME则是彻头彻尾的开源项目。

Now may you code in the power of the Source; may the Kernel, the Libraries and the Utilities be with you, throughout all Distributions, until the end of the Epoch. Amen.

开源代码赐予你力量,Kernel ,Libraries和Utilities将与常你同在,惠及所有发行版,直到时代终结。
吐了个 "CAO" !
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